My father was the keeper of the Eddystone light,
And he slept with a mermaid one fine night,
And of that union there came three,
A porky and a porpoise and the other was me.
Yo ho ho, the wind blows free,
Oh for a life on the rolling sea.
Late one night when I was a trimmin' of the glim,
And singing a verse of the evening hymn,
A voice from the starboard shouted "Ahoy,"
And there was my mother, sitting on a buoy.
"Oh what has become of my children three,"
My mother then she asked of me,
"Oh, one was exhibited as a talking fish,
The other was served on a chafing dish."
The phosphorus flashed in her seaweed hair,
I looked again and my mother wasn't there,
A voice came echoing out of the night,
"To hell with the keeper of the Eddystone Light."
When I was down in Derby
'Twas on the Derby Day
I saw the finest ram, sir
That ever fed on hay
It's true, sir, 'tis true sir,
I never was one to lie.
Ask anyone in Derby, sir
And he'll tell you the same as I.
This Ram it had two horns, sir,
That reached right up to the moon,
A man went up in December
And didn't come down till June.
This ram it had a tail, sir,
It was too long to tell.
It reached right over to Ireland
And rang St. Patrick's bell.
The man who killed the ram, sir,
Was up to his neck in blood.
The boy who held the basin
Was carried away by the flood
And all the women of Derby
Came running up for his ears
To make a leather purse, sir,
To last for forty years.
And all the boys of Derby
Came scrambling for his eyes.
To make a pair of footballs,
For they were football size.
Were you ever in Quebec
Stowing timber on the deck?
Where there's a king with a golden crown
Riding on a donkey.
Hey, Ho, away we go
Donkey riding, donkey riding
Hey, Ho, away we go
Riding on a donkey
Were you every off the Horn
Where it's always fine and warm
See the lion and the unicorn
Riding on a donkey?
Were you ever in Cardiff Bay
Where the folks all shout "Hooray
Here comes Johnny with his three month's pay
Riding on a donkey".
As I roved by the docks one evening so rare
To view the still water and take the salt air
I heard an old fisherman singing a song
Oh take me away boys, me time it's not long.
Dress me up in me oilskins and jumper
No more on the docks I'll be seen
Just tell me old shipmates
I'm taking a trip mates
And I'll see you someday in Fiddler's Green.
Now Fiddlers Green is a place I've heard tell
Where fishermen go if they don't go to hell
Where the weather is fair and the dolphins do play
And the cold coast of Greenland is far, far away.
Now when we're in dock and the long trip is thru
There's pubs and there's parks and there's lasses there too
Where the girls are all pretty and the beer it flows free
And there's bottles of rum growing from every tree.
No I don't need a harp nor a halo nor key
Just give me a breeze and a good rolling sea
And I'll play me old squeezebox as we sail along
With the wind in the rigging to sing me this song.
Mrs. Jones she had a mangle,
She did turn it with a handle
She did turn it with such power
She did forty miles an hour
Did you ever see (x2)
Did you ever see such a funny thing before.
There's a little pub in Wales
Where they sell the best of ales
If you want a drink on Sunday
You will have to wait till Monday.
Oh I had a brother Rupert
He did play full back for Newport
But whilst playing at Llanelly
They did kick him in the belly.
Oh I had a brother Ikey
Who did ride a motor biky
And he said he rode to Gower
In a quarter of an hour.
Then I had a sister Phyllis
Who did work at Pontardulais
But the boss he had to sack her
'Cos he caught her chewing 'bacca'.
Oh I had a brother Trevor
He was very, very clever
He could play upon the fiddle
Up the sides and down the middle
Oh I had a sister Anna
She did play the grand pianna
When she played full presto
All the buttons fly off her vesto.
If you miss the train I'm on, You will know that I am gone,
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles, a
hundred miles
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.
Lord I'm one, Lord I'm two, Lord I'm three
Lord I'm four, Lord I'm five hundred miles from my home,
Five hundred miles (x4)
Lord I`m five hundred miles from my home
Not a shirt on my back,
Not a penny to my name,
Lord I can't go home this-a-way,
This-a-way (x4)
Lord I can't go home this-a-way.
Guitar chords for Five Hundred Miles:
Em G Am C
If you miss the train I’m on, you will know that I am gone
D C D
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
Em G
A hundred miles, a hundred miles
C Am
A hundred miles, a hundred miles
D C Em
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles
Em G Am
Lord I’m one, Lord I’m two, Lord I’m three
C D C D
Lord I’m four, Lord I’m five hundred miles from my home
Em G
Five hundred miles Five hundred miles
Am C
Five hundred miles Five hundred miles
Am C G
Lord I’m five hundred miles from my home
Come all you bold heroes lend an ear to my song
I will sing you the praise of good brandy and rum
If the clear crystal fountains o'er England shall roll
Bring me the punch ladle, I'll fathom the bowl
I'll fathom the bowl,
I'll fathom the bowl,
Bring me the punch ladle, I'll fathom the bowl
From France we do get brandy from Jamaica comes rum
Sweet oranges and apples from Portugal come
But stout and strong cider are England's control
My wife she do disturb me as I sits at my ease
For she says as she likes and she does as she please
My wife she is a devil _ heart's black as the coal
My father he do lie in the depths of the sea
With no stone at his head but what matters for he
If the clear crystal fountains o'er England shall roll
Later less tradtional additional verses:
Consider Maggie Thatcher, the beast of the land,
She corrupts and destroys everything that's at hand
With landslide elections she taxes the poll
Prime Minister John Major, the greyest of men
Well he skulks and he hides down in old No.10
He closes our industry, throws us on the dole
I am a bachelor, I live by myself
And I work at the weaver's trade
And the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
Was to woo a fair young maid.
I wooed her in the summer time
And in the winter too
And the only, only thing that I ever did wrong
Was to keep her from the foggy, foggy, dew.
One night she came to my bedside
As I lay fast asleep
She laid her head upon my bed
And she began to weep.
She wept, she cried, she damn near died
She said "What shall I do?"
So I hauled her into bed and I covered up her head
Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew.
Now I am a bachelor, I live with my son
And we work at the weaver's trade.
And every, every time that I look into his eyes
He reminds me of that fair young maid
He reminds me of the summer time
And of the winter too
And of many, many times that I held her in my arms,
Just to keep her from the foggy, foggy dew.
It ain't no use to sit and wonder why babe
If you don't know by now,
Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why
It doesn't matter anyhow.
When the rooster crows at the break of dawn,
Look out your window, and I'll be gone.
You're the reason I'm a-travelling on.
But don't think twice it's all right.
And it ain't no use in turning on your light babe
The light I never knowed.
And it ain't no use in turning on your light babe
I'm on the dark side of the road.
But I wish there was something you would do or say
To try to make me change my mind and stay.
We never did too much talking anyway,
So don't think twice, it's all right.
So it ain't no use in calling out my name gal,
Like you've never done before,
And it ain't no use in calling out my name gal
I can't hear it any more.
I'm thinking and I'm wondering all the way down the road,
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told,
I gave her my heart but she wanted my soul,
But don't think twice, it's all right.
I'm walking down this long lonesome road babe
Where I'm bound I can't tell
Goodbye's too good a word, babe,
So I just say fare thee well.
I ain't saying that you treated me unkind
You could have done better, but I don't mind,
You just kind of wasted my previous time,
But don't think twice, it's all right.
Come all you young fellows so brave and so fine
And seek not your fortune way down in the mine
It will form as a habit and seep in your soul
Till the streams of your blood run as black as the coal.
Chorus:
For it's dark as a dungeon and dank as the dew
Where the dangers are double and the pleasures are few
Where the rain never falls and the sun never shines
It's as dark as a dungeon way down in the mines.
There's many a man I have known in my day
Who has lived just to labour his whole life away
Like the fiend for his dope or the drunkard his wine
A man will have lust for the lure of the mine.
The morning, the evening, the middle of the day
There the same to the miner who labours away
And the one who's not careful will never survive
One fall of the slate and you're buried alive
I hope when I die and the ages shall roll
That my body will blacken, and turn into coal
As I look from the door of my heavenly home
I'll pity the miner a slave to my bones.